Happy Father's Day???

19th May was my dad's 55th birthday. At first I had no intention of calling and wishing him but my mom called and asked whether I did so. So....instead of not calling and wishing..I did the opposite. And today (15th June) is Father's Day. My heart felt like calling him...but in the end I didn't.

I grew up in a pretty unique messed up family...which most of us turn up pretty well at the end. At the age of 12.....just as I was about to sit for my UPSR exam...I had an alarming news saying that my dad had marry a second wife. At first I did not give me any effect at all...not at least until my mom keep on moving us siblings here and there. I think in a year I went to 3 different schools but I am happy with I end up at.

My dad...he was a quiet one. So ladies....beware if you have a quiet husband coz it is hard to really know was is going on in their head. We were much closer to our mom....since she does all the household related stuff. Although I was the closest to my dad since I'm the first child. So we did not really feel the lost when we were away from our dad. I can still remember his daily schedule until today.

• 630am :- in the bathroom...we were on our way to school
• 500pm :- he is back at home..reads newspaper....we are out playing. I'll make him some tea and sometime buys him fried banana.
• 700pm :- he'll be on his was to the mosque..we are just back from our play time
• 900pm :- he came back from the mosque...it's our bed time.

So you can see that we seldom spend time with him. As a contractor...most of his weekend were spend on the site. However, at some point, both my brothers suffers the effect of growing up without a father. I think my dad is not the kind of person who shows affection (and yet he has 3 wives...hmmmm)...he seldom calls or visit. The only time we see him is when we go back to our hometown for Aidilfitri. And lately, he seldom goes back there. Heck!! He didn't even show up for my nikah or my reception. How super sad is that. If you asked me...I've expected it..but deep down inside...I would really love it if he was there. I'm his eldest child and daughter.

At times....when I see the closeness between some of my frens and their father...I wonder...how would my life be....if I have a father. I mean one that is actually there. Maybe life would be better...or maybe not. Maybe my journey would be different. But GOD has his way of doing things...ad I am happy of where I am at this point of life. Although there are times...I felt sad thinking bout it.

So...Dad..HAPPY FATHER'S DAY (I doubt he will read this). Thank you for bringing me into this world. Although you were not there most of the time but indirectly...you taught me how to be tough and independent. Thank you!