WARNING: This entry might not suit anyone with faint hearted or those who can throw up easily. Read at your own risk...uhuhuhuhu
It has been a few days now....since the day we had to swallow the fact that we have to try again. At this time....we are now able to take it positively. My hubby even get to joke about how I looked like while I was in pain in the emergency room. Come to think of it...it was quite funny. But the fact is....to be able to handle the pain...fuh.....need full concentration and determination.
I finally got the result that I had a missed-miscarriage due to blighted ovum on Monday morning. We went to the Sg Buloh ER at 12.30am...as I cannot stand the pain (I am thinking of D&C at this time). So as usual....government hospital......nothing is too late unless you are truly dying.....or maybe they just wait till you die first. I don't even know how do they classify EMERGENCY. So finally...got to see the doc at 2.30am...yeap...after 2 hours waiting. Then..after a few minutes of consultation...I was brought to see the gynea. OMG!! At this point.....I am scared. Want to know why? The gynea is so fierce and rough. She said that I am pregnant...but the sac is empty and the sac has stopped growing when it reached 6 weeks (I am supposed to be 11 weeks pregnant). So when she asked me to choose either to rescan in to weeks time, let it come out by itself or to do the D&C.....I opt to rescan another two weeks.
Yes! I know...I wanted to do the D&C....but after facing the fierce and rough gynea...I couldn't imagine her doing such procedure to me. I mean...OMG!! I am gonna end up with a teared ***** and uterus. No!! I am not gonna take that chance. I think...If I got her as my gynea for my delivery....I would definitely held my breath....run...and go to another hospital. YES!! I am that scared of her.
So..later in the afternoon....I asked my hubby to bring me to PPUM. fuh....to my relief....the service is much much much better and I don't have to wait that long either. This time, the gynea is more polite and I'm very comfortable with him. Yes....him. He took my pregnancy history...(which the earlier gynea failed to do so) and also my health details before he does any physical check. Later, he did the physical check up and did pap-smear as well since I've never did one. See how good he is? In my condition..I would never have thought of doing a pap-smear. I can only think of my miscarriage and the dissappointment at this point.
The gynea also come out with the same conclusion....I had a missed-miscarriage or blighted ovum since the sac is empty and has stopped developing at week 6. He also said...with first pregnancy at my age....it is quite a normal thing to happen. Gosh! When he said 'at my age"...I feel so old. I guess that's why a lot of people said it is better to get pregnant before 30. Even I am only 29..I am already at risk. However, according to him....it is unwise to do a D&C....coz this is my first pregnancy and doing so might damage my uterus cells. So I took his advise and went home to rest.
Ok...my story does not end there....later...at 9pm....I start to feel lower abdominal pain. At first it was bearable...like my normal period pain. But as the time pass....the pain got stronger and it was hard for me to ignore. Again...at around 12am..I was rushed to the ER in PPUM. At this point, nothing I do can reduce the pain...sitting...lying...nothing works. All I can do is just lay on one side while trying to make the pain go away...but with no luck. At the ER....they gave me 3 shots of pain killer. My hand still hurts from the needle they put in to make the water line...and to draw my blood. But the painkiller did not manage to kill any pain. Yeap...the pain is as painful as before.
At around 3am...the gynea I saw this morning manage to arrive at the ER (I wonder if he ever sleeps). He said that my body is in the midst of rejecting the empty sac...and what I am experiencing now is a small scale contraction or a small scale delivery. Damn!!! This pain is only small scale??? Sish!!! What about the actual labour pain???? OMG!!! OMG!!!! I can't even imagine. Even my hubby cannot stand looking at me trying to cope with the pain. He even told me that it is ok if I don't want to get pregnant anymore....looking at me in pain is too painful. Yeah right....like I'm gonna pass the experience of being a mother. However painful the experience might be...I think I'll live through it. To cut it short...I think I passed out at around 5am...as I felt the last blood rushed coming out.
At 6am...one of the staff nurse woke me up and said that I can go home first and come back to see the gynea at the clinic. Upon waking up, I realize...the pain was gone and I can feel like a piece of meat is coming out. It was the sac. Finally it's over. Fuh.....what and experience. So when I came back to see the gynea.....he did an ultrasound and confirmed that everything is out, my womb is in a good condition and my blood test come out in a healthy condition. I am thankful for that. He also wished me luck for the next one.
To wrap up.....miscarriage is a painful experience..mentally and physically but I am glad I got through it. Thank you for those who showered me with their best wishes and supports. I am also glad that I did not take it to0 hard mentally...and both my hubby and me are taking it quite positively. I am now in the process of recovering (which i hope i am doing it the right way) and hope for the best in the future. I do pray I don't have to go through that again coz I don't want my hubby to be sad again. He's dream of being a father is long overdue. So pray for us ok. ;)