I had made a lot of adjustment while trying to have a baby. Switch job to a much lesser pay position to reduce the stress and also move to a landed house that requires more money as well. A decision which I didn't regret making because now I have Wildan. My sweet little cheeky cikenit bambam. I miss him already!!
However now, I am trying to search and apply for a new job. I need a better paid job as all the expenses has gone up! Literally!! My pay now is what I get in 2006. Yes!! Pathetic or not? Hubby is not really making much as a government servant. So, I need to work and help him with the expenses. Even more so now that we have Wildan. Hmm...this reminds me. I've just read my dear friend Carol blog and her latest post really made me angry. Not at her but to a guy that made such a stupid remark/comment.
I think most of you know about the case where the maid throw and toss around a 4 months old baby. I even have a post on it. She said that a guy made a comment on fb on the vid that was posted on the case. He said, "bukan salah baby tu.Yang salah mak dia sanggup bagi anak dibawah jagaan orang lain demi mencari kesenangan dunia..mencari rezeki tanggungjawab suami etc..". My immediate reaction to this was..WTF? Does he thinks all those mother would rather go to work than spend time with their kids and let alone a baby that she has just gave birth to! No mother in her right mind would! Those who throw away their baby like garbage are clearly mental. We go to work because we have to. Because we need to help our husband to provide for the family. Because his salary alone doesn't cut it. Not with the high living expenses! Only few women are lucky enough to be a full time mother. I wish I am one! I am not sure if this man is married but I'm pretty sure he isn't. Maybe he has grudge against his mom for leaving him and going to work to provide for him so he feels that towards any women than goes to work and let other people to care for their baby. Cewah..mcm psychologist plak aku kan?
I cried the first day I sent my Wildan to nursery. Started sending him 2 weeks before I started working again after my maternity leave to practice. He and I both need to practice to be away from each other. Fortunately, he handled it better than me. :P I am so lucky and blessed to get a good nursery which is very hard to find nowadays.
So, I want to find a job but there's lots of things to consider. I like where I am working now but like I said, the salary is not enough. Plus, there's no yearly increment and I've been here since 2010! My current office is 10-15 minutes away from home which also where Wildan's nursery is. It helps if there is any emergency. Especially if his milk supply isn't enough. Encountered with that a few times already. My boss is kind of understanding and knows that am a fully breast feed mom so he understands my commitment. I can take off from work to attend to Wildan and pump for his supply. I am afraid that if I take a new job, my boss won't be as understanding and how will the environment be. As a new employee, I can't take off easily. They might understand but I won't really feel good about it. Right? The guy is lucky I didn't see his comment, I would have condemn him until he delete his own comment.
Now, each step in life that I take I need to consider Wildan's benefits. Am not trying to find kesenangan dunia which it would be great if I have but just trying to survive in this challenging world. I guess I have to wait until Wildan is 2 years old to make any bold move since by then he would no longer be fully breast feed so the pressure is a liitle bit off my shoulder. I didn get a job with better pay end of last year and at that time Wildan was only about 4 months old. After deep consideration I had to let it go.
Mummy love you Wildan. Even if mummy send you to nursery, know that mummy can't wait to pick u up everyday! :) muah!! No treasure in world would matter if I don't have you!!
